Manga Snark

That's supposed to be a pretty difficult thing to do. Kids with the money and time often go on trips around the world lasting for months to figure themselves out. Adults spend years going through various careers, friends, families, and spouses, scratching their heads the whole way. Hell, this blog is my first proud internet undertaking, having run through a long string of pseudonyms and identities to try and find my place, and that's just ONLINE.

And we're expecting Yami to do it in the course of a single duel? Yeah. Right.



( Onward )

Haven't we already been over this? First she's a siren without exhibiting any of the singing or distracting characteristics of one to our protagonists, and now we're calling her bewitching? She had better be playing a spell card that warrants this description during this chapter, or I'm going to be annoyed. Chapters need to stop referring to Mai in ways that are reminiscent of sexist descriptions of female allure, ESPECIALLY when they're not even relevant.

Because this first page isn't very promising on the relevancy front.



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On this, the eve of our glory, we raise our glass to all those that will be lost on the morrow! Fear not death, for you shall be honored upon your fall on the battlefield in the hereafter, and your story will be sung by all generations to come. They will sing of your courage, your bravery, your conviction in the face of the enemy, and will praise you for your great sacrifice! The sacrifice of your precious monster cards for FREEDOM!

Besides, they'll probably be brought back with Monster Reborn or something anyway.



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I received an email a couple of days ago, informing me that today is a very important day. A very auspicious day, according to a character guide for this manga world. And how lucky am I, to be able to cover a chapter featuring the character that this day celebrates the birth of. I'm talking, of course, about Seto Kaiba's birthday, which I am recognizing with some confusion. I mean, I can understand why KT would come up with this information as part of an authorial process, just to know everything about the character he was creating. But... what use does anyone ELSE have for this information? Why was it published in a book? Why would I ever need to know that Kaiba is just over 6 foot tall, or that he's 150ish pounds (the skinny fucking bastard), or that his blood type is 'A'? It doesn't appear to have any bearing on the story, but, you know... good for him?

So, Mr. Kaiba, with many shrugs, I present to you this birthday gift: a series of Who Framed Roger Rabbit jokes at the expense of your opponent in this duel. I was going to make them anyway, but I may as well relabel them for the occasion. Happy birthday, you magnificent son of a bitch.



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Are those anything like the stages of grief? Emotional states that indicate how a person moves THROUGH fear? Or are we talking about physical indicators of fear, like bugged eyes, constricted pupils, shallow breathing, screaming, that sort of thing? Since it's the season of fear, especially around the subject of death, I'd like to see what these stages are supposed to look like, and if there's a haunted house nearby with a progression meant to stimulate all these different stages. THAT would be pretty cool.



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The kind of courage it takes to face oneself and the limitations we are prone to? Or maybe the courage to confront those parts that don't appear to be limited in the ways we would prefer? Or perhaps the courage to tell that dick next door to stop hammering on his walls like he's trying to knock them down. I mean for fuck's sake, this is an apartment building, and some of us are trying to sleep at 2 am, you know??



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Just in case you were doubting that Yami is having some trouble here, this title should set you straight. It also kind of rules out him pulling one of those miraculous victories from his ass like he usually does, too. Not that I really wanted him to, mind you. Not when I'm actually INVESTED in one of his duels for once. That shit just wouldn't fly right now, because Yami is WAY past due on his fair share of character suffering.

Why does my saying that leave a nasty taste in my mouth?

Oh. Oh shit. It's because I sound like THIS asshole.



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But they're ALL close fights, chapter! This isn't a distinguishing feature! Isn't there anything else you can name yourself after that isn't a tension design as common as WATER? Maybe a new monster or cool move? A comment from one of the attending cheer squad? Kaiba making another bromantic admission that reveals just how badly he wants to make love to Yami? Come on, get creative here!!!



Not THAT creative.

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Take a good look at that number up there and rejoice! This is the 100th chapter of Yu-Gi-Oh, and my 100th review for this manga specifically! Another party in the house! Sure, it was only last month that I had my 100th general review party, but you can never have too many 100th review parties, guys. Besides, I've already got wine and sweets for the occasion. A sweet blackberry number and some chocolate bourbon pecan pie.



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That means no flipping coins, boys! Just because there are only two choices doesn't mean you can just play a game of Eenie-Meenie and get a fair result. But the most important rule to choosing wisely is not playing to expectations. "The Door of the Palace" might sound like the obvious choice, and that's exactly why you SHOULDN'T pick it. Never forget the mistake of that Nazi guy in Indiana Jones, kids.



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